Reflections
“UNTIREMENT”
Alicia M. Conill, MD. FACP
February 2004
I made a decision today. Or, I should say, the Social Security administration made it for me. I am retired. I even have a Medicare and Blue Cross card that says 65 special. Now, that is special… especially since I am only 45.
I am also physically disabled. I never knew that being disabled and being retired were one and the same. For me and many others, they are not. It does, however, say a great deal about the value society places on these two groups. Just as elders may feel lost or useless when they are forced into retirement (early or not), I experienced a similar sense of loss and found it hard to define what I did and thus, who I was, if I could no longer practice clinical medicine, see my patients and teach residents.
The more I gave this some thought, the word re-tire seemed an oxymoron because I did not want to be tired again. Nor did I want to re-tread these tires of mine. In fact, it would be welcome to stop the daily routines that made me tired. So, it occurred to me, I do not have to re-tire; instead, I will un-tire. Some will call this merely a question of semantics. I call it a valiant attempt to see the glass as half-full instead of half-empty.
What will I do? What will fill my days and nights? How will I answer the
ubiquitous question, what do you do?
I wonder how many people can answer that question joyfully. Is a title
impressive? Is an office size or location meaningful? Does “what do you do for a
living?” really provide us with a view of who the person on the other side of
the question is? Granted, sometimes the words are perfunctory and the response
is not important to the person asking. But what about the times it is?
If the questioner is really interested in learning something about the other
person, more valuable inquiries would include: Who are you- who or what is
important in your life. What makes your heart sing, your mind expand, your
spirit soar?
Whew- what cocktail party conversation that would be!
The other what do you do for a living question is really asking, how do you pay your bills? I venture to say that if what makes your heart sing etc. is also what pays your bills you are in the luckiest and probably the smallest minority of the population.
So, if you are officially “retired” before your time and feel your sense of self fading as you insert the Medicare card in your wallet, and someone asks what you do, I challenge you to tell them who you are and that you are “un-tired.” Explain that what you do for a living is not necessarily what gives you life or what sustains you. You may actually feel fortunate that you are untired before your time. Who knows, you may even find your cup overflowing!
As Abraham Lincoln said,
“It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”